Not Giving Up. No, Not This Time!

I went running this morning. 2.5 miles. My usual. Humidity is still miserable here. 96% at 6:30 am with the temperature already hovering around 70 degrees.

I had to drag my whole body out of bed. I was tired and got up a little late. My knees are still achy from Saturday’s activities. It’s that time of the month. I read recently that when exercising, we (women) need to just get up and go. Don’t think about it. Just do it, as they say in the Nike commericals.

So I got up, got dressed, walked outside and slam! It was like walking into a wall of pea soup (the air was so heavy this morning, you could cut it). Ugh. I wanted to turn around and go back to bed.

But… I went. And I successfully completed my 2.5 mile run. It was a little slow (you know, because of the resistance from the atmosphere — I felt like I was running under water.) And even though I wanted to walk…I really wanted to walk, I didn’t. I kept running.

And I’ll tell you why. Even though, overall, I was really satisfied with my performance in Saturday’s race, not being able to run the whole way in the run part left me feeling somewhat defeated. I know, it was after swimming and biking. But I’ve been training for this and I coulda/shoulda just kept running because I know I could have. I let my head get in the way big-time. And for those of you who do this, you know once you give in to the voices screaming “WALK, WALK, WALK!” it’s really tough to tune them out.

I am a person who gives up on me easily. Not just with the diet and exercise thing, with everything. If something gets too tough and it’s something I’m doing for me, it’s always easy to find excuses not to do it anymore. Being so busy finding excuses, I didn’t realize I was even doing this until recently. No more excuses.

When I got up this morning for my first run after Saturday (walked Monday ’cause everything was still creaky from the race), I was really hesitant about heading out. What if I couldn’t run again? What if it was, heaven  forbid, humid again? And oh, was it humid again. But I run in humidity all the time. I live on Long Island. It’s summer. It’s a fact of life.

I was determined this morning to prove to myself that the tough run on Saturday didn’t signal the end of my running days. I was determined that this time, a setback wasn’t going to end in defeat. I was determined that I will continue doing this great thing for me, even if it isn’t always comfortable or easy.

I’m just determined. Not everything is easy. Not everything works all the time. But when we push through the difficulty, the rewards are even more satisfying.

So I ran this morning. The whole way. I ignored the voice telling me to walk. I thought about writing this blog post. I considered all of the other women out there who start/stop fitness programs because it gets tough or we struggle and feel defeated and figured, if I don’t give up and write about it, maybe someone else won’t give up either. I reminded myself of how far I’ve come and that I promised myself I was in this for the long haul.

I’m not giving up. No, not this time.

Take that humidity.

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by onelittlejill on August 5, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    I am going to have to make humidity my bitch tonight- I have 3 miles on the agenda and ALREADY don’t want to do them. None of my excuses are good enough though…so come 6pm it’ll be me and the humidity!

    Great job 🙂 as always!

    Reply

  2. Posted by Fran on August 5, 2009 at 5:58 pm

    Oh girl how much we look alike! I’m just like you: I intend to give up on myself to easily. But like you I still go running even if I don’t feel like it, or it’s too hot, or too early, or I’m too tired: I always go!
    So I’m proud of us!

    I’ll take my running so seriously that my husband (well I can call him so after 15 years of living together, boyfriend sounds so stupid when you’re both 41 🙂 ) said to me tonight: aren’t you overtraining?
    Well I never thought I heard him say that. It used to be: don’t you have to go to the gym tonight? 🙂

    As I’ve said on Twitter: we went running at the same time in a different time zone, remember that next time that there’s always someone who’s struggling with the same things as you: me!

    Reply

  3. I’m off to find an article I read just this morning about this very thing – a part of your brain telling you to take it easy. It was fascinating. Ah, here it is: http://refusetoregain.com/my_weblog/2009/08/refusing-under-stress.html

    Well done on the run! I admire you for doing so well in humidity – it makes me unable to do a thing. Fortunately I don’t live in a very humid area!

    Reply

  4. Well I think you wrote this for me…lol. I have been sitting here waiting for my dinner to settle thinking of excuses as to why I cannot exercise tonight. It is a bit windy, okay a tiny bit. There has been rain…about 3 hours ago. Okay so I get it!
    No more excuses there is always one if you want it isn’t there.
    You are inspiring and you are never defeated as long as you keep moving. I really have changed my tune by reading your post so thank you so much for writing it!
    XO

    Reply

  5. wow – you have done a great job, and now you are really an athlete. You should be so proud of yourself.

    We live in a climate with major humidity and it is hard to psyche myself up to run/walk in it. That’s why I usually go very first thing – almost before the sun gets up!

    Reply

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