I Am Good Enough

This has been a tough week. I am now a victim of the economy, having just received notice of a 10% pay reduction until things turn around, and on a more personal level, I was only down .2 again at WW, two weeks in a row. I know, at least it’s a loss, but I’m a pound away from 50 so I’m a little frustrated.

I started writing a blog post last night, but realized it was really whiny so I scrapped it. I’m feeling sorry for myself, I’ll admit it. And I’ve been feeling “not good enough.” And I have my first triathlon coming in just one week.

It’s raining here this morning so I went to the gym to run and swim. I have to say, I love the treadmill. These last couple of weeks, it has finally gotten warm enough (and light enough in the morning) to run outside, but boy, I hadn’t anticipated how very much different running on the treadmill and running on the road are. I have to do a lot more walking on the road. So getting back on the treadmill this morning and being able to run two miles with only a 1-minute walking break in the middle felt like a triumph. And then I went swimming. It’s brick time! Tomorrow will be biking and running. And it’s supposed to be nice weather so that will be outside.

Anyway, while working out this morning, I found that instead of being proud of how far I’ve come, I realized the little dialogue in my head has been really negative. I’ve been beating myself up for not being further along in my weight loss or training…or for having that brownie when I found out I would be making less money…or for not having seen this work thing coming and staying on top of my home business, which, in hind sight, between working out and working until all hours (big deadlines the last few months), would have been kind of impossible anyway.

My very first triathlon is just one week away. I know I will finish. I certainly won’t be first, but I don’t think I’ll be dead last either. And my goal since I took this on was just to finish. And for this week, the bigger goal is going to be to erase that negative voice that’s been following me around and focus on what I’ve accomplished instead.

I’ve lost 49 pounds. YAY! I can run for a straight mile and a half (on the treadmill). I can run/walk 2 miles in under 27 minutes. I can bike 8 to 9 miles at a clip and it doesn’t kill me anymore. And I can swim 60 25-yard laps without stopping.

When I decided to take on this triathlon (.25 mile swim, 6-mile bike, 2-mile run), I was 28 pounds heavier, I couldn’t run more than a minute at a time, I couldn’t bike more than 2 miles and I could swim 8 laps without stopping and gasping for air.

I’ve come a long way and I’ve done really good things for my body. And I’m proud of myself for that. No more negatives. And when I finish my triathlon next Saturday, whatever the time or amount of walking I have to do, it will be a huge, wonderful victory. And that will be good enough.

And the very next day, I will be signing up for the next one.


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by maggieapril on April 11, 2009 at 4:55 pm

    Best of luck with the big event!!


  2. Posted by onelittlejill on April 12, 2009 at 3:53 pm

    Its hard to keep only positive thoughts in your head, but you are right- finishing is winning. Every small triumph and is triumph!!!

    You go rock it!



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