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Today’s post is about strength training!

When I started on my latest and last fitness journey in 2008, I weighed 230.2 pounds the day I stepped on the Weight Watchers scale. I happen to know that I’d managed to drop about 5 pounds before then. I weighed 167.2 this morning. That’s 100 pounds from my heaviest weight to now.

Yesterday I ran 4 miles. Running 4 miles is something that I wouldn’t have attempted or believed I could do….ever. Certainly not when I was 267 pounds or 230 pounds. Not even when I was 18 and 140 pounds and in good physical condition.

I was on my way to personal training this morning with my friend Jen…there will more about her and her alternative approach to resistance training in tomorrow’s blog post…and I started thinking about how far I’ve come. I think about this a lot. It keeps me going.

And I realized that I am truly grateful for having been 230 pounds, even 267 pounds. I didn’t appreciate it at the time, but I do now. Our bodies are amazing. Amazingly loyal, and amazingly resilient. My body still carried me when I had 100 pounds more on it’s 5’4″ frame than I do now. And at 230 pounds when I decided to get fit this time, it let me walk first, and then run…and swim and bike.

Being morbidly obese comes with consequences. And make no mistake. I was morbidly obese. I got winded easily. I got tired easily. I had acid reflux and heart palpitations. I felt like crap. But I was able to keep going.

You would think there comes a point where the body just says, “Nope, not doing it anymore. Not moving from this spot until you start treating me better.” It seems to take a lot to get the body to that point.

Think about it. If you abuse another person, you end up in jail, or at the very least that person can be taken away from you. But if we abuse ourselves, and getting to the point of morbid obesity is personal abuse, even if it’s done slowly and with yummy sugary treats, the only consequences we face are personal.

I am grateful that I weighed 230 pounds. I abused my body, but it stuck by me. And when I was ready to start treating it right, it responded. With each step and each pound lost, my body has gotten stronger and rewarded me in ways I never imagined. I have energy. I feel great. Aches and pains are fleeting. My skin has retracted to fit my frame (for the most part).

I can tell you that if I’d stayed at a reasonable weight all of my life, I probably would never have started running. I wouldn’t have gone back to swimming. I wouldn’t have attempted triathlon. Why would I have had to?

I would have been normal sized but unfit. Because I weighed 230 pounds when I decided to get fit this time, I knew I needed to exercise and eat healthier to reach my goals. I’ve taken it slowly. I’ve had missteps. But my body sticks by me. And I’m encouraged to get stronger and healthier every time I look at myself in the mirror or run a longer distance.

So thank you body. At whatever weight, I couldn’t have done it without you.

And I promise this time it’s for good.

As a result, I haven’t done any exercise since Monday night, when I went running after work and then to a personal training session. I have no excuse for not doing ANYTHING. I can do resistance training at home. I can put my bike on the trainer and cycle my little heart out in the dark, in the cold…in the comfort of my living room. I can do jumping jacks or go out on the back deck and jump rope. But what I’ve wanted to do is run. Outside. In the bright sunshine and crisp weather.

I plan to go running tonight after work tonight provided I escape my cubicle before it gets too dark. However, I am not a huge fan of running after work. Remember last week when I was rejoicing that my morning runs felt strong and amazing because of the crisp weather?

Well as good as those felt is as tough as it feels to run after a full day of stress and food (even healthy food). Monday night when I ran after work— and I looked forward to it all day and had pizza to look forward to when I finished— I felt like I was wearing 25-lb. weights on each leg. The weather was humid and iffy that night with storms coming in, so I cut my run short to beat the rain. And I knew I had a training class later for which I wanted some energy.

Tonight, I expect my run to tough as well. Maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised. I’ve had so much going on these days though, I don’t feel like I have a whole lot to give to exercise at the end of the day, which is why I like to go in the morning. However, I know it’s something I need to do. Because while I might not have a whole lot to give to the road after a long workday, by getting out there anyway, that run (and I never thought I would be saying this), no matter how slow or difficult it is, gives me the release and energy I need to get up and do it all again the next day.

When you’re nervous about doing something, it’s always good to know that you’re not alone. And when you see others accomplish what you are setting out to do, especially if they are coming from that beginner perspective, it makes it easier to believe that you can do it too.

I went to Ironman training sites and experienced sprint triathlon sites, and I have some of those on my blog roll because they are great for tips and I just think those bloggers are cool, but they are so far ahead of me, while I’m ultra-impressed, I’m also a little intimidated. Someday maybe I’ll be hardcore too, but not yet.

So I searched for blogs of newbies at my level or a little ahead of me. And I found two blogger beginner triathletes who I have learned so much from, I just needed to give them a shout out. While they are young enough to be my daughters and definitely in better shape than I was starting out, they were also starting out. And they have been very candid about their struggles as well as their triumphs. Following these two bloggers has gotten me over the hump a couple of times when I just wasn’t sure I could do it.

My blogger girls, Jessica, who writes Gearing Up; and Jill, who writes Finishing is Winning; just completed huge goals, with Jill completing a half marathon and Jessica finishing the Redman Sprint Triathlon (a 1500-meter swim, 28-mile bike and 10K run). You go, girls!

We have all come a long way from almost a year ago. And by following their journeys— warts and all— I know they will keep inspiring me to work harder and go farther.

Thank you Jill and Jessica!

I’d also like to thank Hanlie from FertileHealthy for bestowing an Honest Scrap Blog award on me! I will be responding to that tomorrow.

There were other stressful events this week too. Normally, I can shrug most difficult situations off and deal with them, but when they converge all at once, they can feel insurmountable–out of control.

And what do I do when faced with seemingly insurmountable stress? I eat. It didn’t help that this happened on a Thursday, my weigh-in day, and typically a day of more relaxed eating for me. On Thursday though, I let food take over. And that extended into Friday. I was looking for comfort, and looking for it in comfort food. The surprising thing was I didn’t get much comfort from the food. Only a stomachache.

Saturday I managed to rein in the eating machine somewhat by starting the day with a good 3-mile run. During the couple of hours after my run, I felt more positive and almost back to normal. My food day wasn’t perfect (we had lunch plans), but it didn’t include the bingeing from the two days before.

I am back in control today. I’m still sad. I’m still overwhelmed. But I am back in control.

This week, having reverted back to old ways for a few days, I realized that the most important part of my fitness journey is finally having control over the food I eat and how I take care of my health. My out-of-control days ended up feeding my distress and making me feel even worse. Taking charge again of my food and exercise has put me on the path toward being in control of other aspects of my life too.

Dale, our dog, got old and sick. We had no control over that. But we were able to say enough was enough and help him get to a better place.

For me, this fitness journey has been about being aware and in control of my health too so I can be in a better place. Sometimes, I get knocked off, but I won’t stay down for long anymore. I like having control.

Wondering what 100-calorie treat might just do the trick today, I spied 100-calorie M&M packs. They were like a beacon on a dark night. I scooped ‘em up and threw them in my cart. $3.99 for seven carefully calorie-counted-out packs.

I grabbed a pack today when I went home for lunch, so I would have it for that much-needed 3:00 pm sugar injection. I almost always opt for a healthy snack at 3pm (yogurt, fruit, kashi bar), but today, I knew that wasn’t going to cut it.

When I grabbed my M&Ms from the box, I thought, hmmm, these look surprsingly similar to the M&M fun packs. So I went online, just to see. How many calories are there in an M&M fun pack? You’ll never guess. No really. You won’t. 100? Is that your final answer? Well, you’d be right.

I paid $3.99 for 7 M&M fun packs. What a bonehead. Had I just checked the fun pack package…with Halloween weeks away they are all over the place…I could have saved myself quite a bit of money if I’d just done that research. I’m pretty sure there are more than 7 packages in a fun-size bag. And it probably costs….drumroll please….$3.99.

I’ve learned my lesson. Always check the options before purchasing 100-calorie candy. I’m pretty sure though I’m much safer with only seven fun packs in the house.

I was walking at this time of year last year, having started my fitness quest in July, but I wasn’t running yet. That didn’t start until November, and then it was indoors, on the treadmill. Saturday, after 5 days off from doing anything, I went running. It was so gorgeous and I felt so strong, I ran a full three miles at a harder-than-usual pace for me. Could have been because it was chilly starting out? All I know is it was one of my best runs from a perspective of feeling strong and enjoying myself.

Sunday, my legs reminded me that I shouldn’t really take 5 days off and then run hard. Ouch. I went swimming on Sunday to try to loosen up, but ended up going much farther than I expected, swimming about 1100 yards. By Sunday afternoon, I was sore all over! But it was a good sore.

The nice thing is that when I got up this morning, I felt good again. No more muscle pain. And hubby was home from work today and could take our daughter to work. So I got to go running again in the spectacular weather this morning. I ran 2.5 miles this morning (because I did have to come home and get ready for work) but surprisingly, I was able to run good and hard again. I figured today would be a slower run because my legs were still a little fatigued from Saturday. I don’t know what’s giving me the extra pep in my step, but I’ll take it.

It must be the weather.

I say “still had it” because I have this weird phenomenon that happens to me after a race or even after a few days off from running. And I had a few days off  this week, five to be exact. After my race on Sunday, I didn’t get any exercise at all for the rest of the week. My schedule was just nuts last week.

I knew had to get back out there no later than today. After races, because they are tougher, and a few days away from running, I start to develop this irrational fear that I won’t be able to do it again. Somehow, after a few days off, the fitness level I’ve worked so hard to achieve will just disappear. Does this happen to anyone else?

The longer I wait, the more apprehensive I get. So today when I got up, got dressed and got ready to head out the door, I was armed with my arsenal of choices. I could go for a longer run (3.2 miles), a shorter run (2.5 miles) or I could walk. I can always walk.

I procrastinated a bit this morning. I tried to set RunKeeper on my iPhone but that just didn’t seem to want to work, so I walked back home and left it there. Now I was going to just run for running’s sake.

I set back out, starting with my walking warmup and a funny thing happened. Maybe it was the crisp morning air, or even just the week’s rest, but I almost felt like my legs were saying, “Now? Can we go now?”

When I started running, it felt like I’d been doing it all of my life. No nagging knees and I felt like I had more push than I’d had even before the race. I opted for the 3.2-mile loop because it would have been a shame to waste feeling that good on a shorter run. Maybe rest periods aren’t so bad after all.

Today’s was possibly the best run I’ve ever had. Maybe it was the chill in the air. Today though, I felt strong the whole way and I was reminded that I really do like this running thing. And I’m not even training for a race right now, although I do plan to tackle a 5K or two before the weather turns too cold.

On a side note, thanks to Jill from Finishing Is Winning for putting me in the spotlight on her blog as this week’s Props Wednesday! I was so honored.

I’ve gone from the high of my triathlon to the week from well, you can fill in the blanks. And while I have lots of blog posts milling around in my head, I have no time this week to write them. So I’m letting you know I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth. I’m still feeling mighty proud of Sunday’s accomplishment. And I will be back, just as soon as the insanity subsides.

If not sooner, I will be posting on Saturday.